what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
