This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
