Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
