my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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