Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
