so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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