wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
