im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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