I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
And then he peed in my hair
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
