Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
