Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You are a genius and a whore.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
