Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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