Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
