im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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