Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm always down for nudity.
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