I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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