so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
