Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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