So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize