You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
