HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
