She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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