can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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