I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
