Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
