remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
