We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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