YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
