Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
