If i come over, it means nothing
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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