I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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