I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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