that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
