is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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