Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
