Whod you bang
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
