so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
