How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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