suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize