Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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