Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You pole danced in your parka.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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