Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
