Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
