Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
