apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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