when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
