Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
