Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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