i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
