Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
