I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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