hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
