i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize