Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
