there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
