Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
