why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
