Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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