That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
operation harelip BJ is a go
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
