Got a toothbrush?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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