Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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