what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
