whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
