she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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