Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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